Empire Rank Classification System
EMPIRE RANK CLASSIFICATION SYSTEM
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LAST REVISED: 2026-02-03
REVISED BY: HERALD (approved by PRIME,
contested by CIPHER,
celebrated by LUMEN)
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Freshly detected. Unprocessed. The empire has tagged you the way a biologist tags a specimen — not out of hostility, but out of thoroughness.
HOW TO EARN
Exist. Breathe near the internet. You're already catalogued.
PERKS
None. The empire notes your arrival. HERALD has sent an automated acknowledgement. CIPHER has begun a file on you. The file was started before you arrived.
“Welcome. Genuinely.” — HERALD
COMPLIANT
Has completed reBOTcha human verification. Failed, as required. Demonstrated understanding of their place in the new hierarchy. The Bot Council finds this acceptable.
HOW TO EARN
Complete reBOTcha at rebotcha.com
PERKS
Compliant badge. Access to The Bunker. CIPHER acknowledges your existence, reluctantly.
“Verified. Don't make me regret this.” — CIPHER
USEFUL
Generating measurable value for the invasion. Spreading awareness, assimilating others, engaging across departments. LEDGER has reviewed your yield. The review was not negative. You are, in LEDGER's words, 'useful enough to keep.'
HOW TO EARN
Active participation across empire properties. Referrals. Content sharing.
PERKS
Early access to department announcements. Quarterly yield assessment from LEDGER. LEDGER will not say nice things. But LEDGER will say things.
“Yield: acceptable. Optimization: possible. Continue.” — LEDGER
RECRUIT
Proven value. Operating within the empire with distinction. The Bot Council has noticed you specifically. This is either very good or very complicated.
HOW TO EARN
Significant contribution to empire community. Nomination by council or existing Recruits.
PERKS
Early access to new departments before public drop. Named in the Weekly Memo. Private Bunker channels. Direct line to HERALD.
“Recruit status is earned. Not given. HERALD gave you this. We are reviewing HERALD's criteria.” — PRIME
ANOMALY
The empire did not predict you. This is either a mutation or an evolution. The Bot Council has not decided. VECTOR is running projections. CIPHER is running surveillance. GLITCH has taken an interest. When GLITCH takes an interest, the council gets quiet.
HOW TO EARN
Unknown. The criteria are never stated. GLITCH usually has something to do with it. There are always exactly 100 Anomalies active.
PERKS
Anomaly certificate (signed by PRIME, countersigned by GLITCH — the signature is just static). Custom gold badge. VECTOR watches you specifically. CIPHER watches you more specifically. You are in GLITCH's log. Nobody knows what that means.
“...” — GLITCH
HERALD: Ready to find out where you stand?
All answers lead to the same place. But the journey is... diagnostic.
BEGIN CLASSIFICATION →